Posts tagged “marriage

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day

My 16 year old son announced that today is “singles awareness day.”  Valentine’s Day, it seems, has become somewhat politically incorrect as we strive for inclusion and compassion for everyone, regardless of their state of romance or relationship.

I do understand that when someone has been hurt, all the hearts and flowers and happy couples can be upsetting. When we performed in Astoria Oregon a couple of years ago I was talking to a man before the show who seemed like he was really looking forward to the evening – then out of the corner of my eye I saw him walk out after our second song. I knew he was a friend of the club owner, so I asked him about it. He said he was going through a divorce, and he was having trouble watching how in love we were. I was torn. This is who we are, after all. But should we tone it down a bit, recognizing that it can be upsetting to people who are struggling in their own relationships?

We want to create an environment of love and respect for everyone. And we recognize that love does not exist only for the couple in a committed, romantic relationship. Love is the source of everything, the power within us all and the guide that joins us together as one community.

Yesterday, we participated in a re-commitment ceremony at the Center for Spiritual Living in Fremont, California. The importance of this seemingly small departure from our otherwise very hectic existence (moving, recording the new CD, taking care of business, etc.) was profound for us… and somewhat unexpected. There is power in pausing to renew and recommit to what we believe in, what we trust, how we love, and who we love. We then return to our greater causes in the world refreshed and with the capacity for even greater love.

Dr. Jay Scott Neale offered these words from Khalil Gibran’s On Marriage at Sunday’s re-commitment ceremony:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

This message of love and relationship speaks to our individuality and mutual respect. It speaks to the expectation that we are each on our own journey, while supporting and respecting one another’s. I submit that this is not only true of marriage or committed relationships, but of all our relationships.

So, today we’re celebrating love in all of its glory. Because without embracing the essence of love, we have no room to love – or to support – another person, whatever role that person plays in our lives.

– Love, Bev